Sowetan Newspaper – 30 September 2010
Nkosi has turned her life around
- Khanyi Nkosi's Women -
Every woman out there facing hardship can break free
We need to stop holding onto cultural and societal stereotypes, and release negative incidents in our past
NOT many people can face hardships unless they have the strength of Nolitha Nkosi, founder of Khanya Life Coaching.
Since becoming a life coach a year ago the bubbly and energetic Nkosi breathes new life.
It took drastic events, mostly bad, to turn her life around for the better.
"I had a difficult upbringing. I've been through so much in my life, almost everything bad you can imagine, but what I noticed was that for some reason I managed to rise above each and every one of those hardships," Nkosi says.
"I discovered a fighter in me that helped me through those challenging situations. That discovery also made me realise that there is a strength in all of us which, once tapped, can help us rise above hardships in our lives."
Determined to change her life, Nkosi went for life coaching and discovered a technique that helped her to let go of the anger and other negative feelings that were hindering her healing process.
Through Khanya Life Coaching Nkosi uses the same technique to help other women in similar situations to rediscover themselves and live a positive life.
"I learnt that it was possible for one to let go of negative emotions. I was so excited I wanted to share the technique with other women, that's how I became I life coach," she says, adding that the discovery liberated her.
"I live a purposeful life now. I know now that it's not just about me. It's about making lasting change in other people's lives. I know that making a difference in one person's life will impact on a family, then the community, the country and ultimately the world. The idea is to change the world, but it starts with one person at a time," Nkosi says.
She believes it is the negative emotions and cultural and societal stereotypes that often stand in the way of most women's success. She suggests that women should reflect on the causes of their challenges, personal and in the workplace, and then seek professional help.
"We women are often our own greatest obstacles in achieving success," Nkosi says.
"While we have become economically active, we recently started seeing the number of women occupying high level positions in business decreasing.
"This is worrying. We need to do something about that. We need to stop holding onto cultural and societal stereotypes, and release negative incidents in our past.
"We need to start loving and appreciating ourselves and in this way we will rediscover the goddesses in us and empower ourselves to achieve and succeed without limits."
She says women spend most of their time trying to prove their ability at home and at the office.
"It's an exhausting cycle that many women perpetuate from generation to generation. This has made us forget those innate qualities and abilities we were born with, which add exceptional value to all we do.
"To break this cycle we need to start by taking a long, hard look at ourselves and ask what the behaviours in our lives are that prevent us from moving forward.
"To get a better understanding of where and how we are creating these obstacles for ourselves, we need to ask ourselves what we want from our lives, what we are doing to achieve it, what makes us feel loved and appreciated, what are the negative feelings in our lives and what can we do to change.
"This type of introspection will allow you to start the process of self-love and appreciation. It will also highlight areas where you need assistance."
The Citizen – 02 October 2010
Rising above adversity
Abuse: Nolitha breaking barriers
Emmah Ngomane
It is a common assumption that many people make. You hear the words “life coach” and you immediately think of a middle-aged, white male.
Well, Nolitha Nkosi from Brakpan has set out to break barriers and challenge such misconceptions.
At 28, she is one of the few qualified black female life coaches in South Africa. Born in Tembisa, Ekurhuleni, Nkosi overcame adversity and found healing in helping others to overcome their own challenges through life coaching.
After having suffered years of severe sexual and domestic abuse, which led to suicide attemps, Nkosi said she was aware of the lack of support systems available for women in the community.
She was then inspired to support and guide other women through life’s challenges.
“I believe the average 21st century women has a lot to deal with. The role of a woman has become so complex over the years, making it a very difficult task to bring balance into one’s life. As a life coach, my job is to help find ways to achieve that balance...to ultimately bring harmony in what is usually a busy and chaotic life.”
Snip: “All women... need a support structure. Someone to push you, believe in you 100% so that you can attain all your goals,” said Nkosi.
The young woman, who describes life coaching as a “calling”, credits her live experiences for her career choice, saying it has made her stronger and has also helped equip her with the compassion to help people.
“When you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you can only feel humbled and obliged to help others see that they also can rise above all kinds of challenges,” said Nkosi.
Asked about the challenges she has had to face in her line of work, Nkosi said the industry was still “male dominated” and was not easy “to break into”.
She’s also had to deal with criticism from other black women.
“Black women still look down to other black women. We don’t want to support each other and hate to see one of us being successful,” she said
HR online - Skills shortage creates opportunities for young leaders
POSITIONED AS THE LAND OF POSSIBILITY, SOUTH AFRICA'S SKILLS SHORTAGE HAS CREATED AN INFINITE NUMBER OF CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE COUNTRY'S UP AND COMING STARS.
Hungry for the chance to prove themselves and succeed, more and more talented 20 and 30-somethings are outclassing their much older peers and rising to positions of leadership a lot earlier in their careers than was previously possible. While this type of promotion is often a once in a lifetime opportunity to fast-track one’s career immeasurably, many young leaders are being left to carve out their own destinies as best as they can – as opposed to being set-up to succeed...
South Africa’s skills demographics have created a significant challenge for many businesses. With many leaders of well-established companies now nearing retirement, far more aggressive employment equity legislation and a lack of suitable 40 or 50 year old management candidates, numerous businesses are fast-tracking the careers of their young “superstars” – promoting them to positions of leadership much earlier than they normally would have been. While this is a fantastic opportunity for most young leaders, employers adopting this approach often fail to support these leaders in their new roles beyond hastily devised mentorship packages and corporate training days. This can limit the leadership potential of the candidate involved significantly – setting them up for failure in certain instances.
While the young superstars who are promoted are usually exceptionally talented and capable individuals, they often don’t have the life experience they need to succeed on their own. In many cases, young leaders haven’t had many opportunities to observe management in action. Their experiences around conflict resolution, negotiating with difficult personalities and so forth are limited. This means they are often not adequately prepared to perform many of their responsibilities. And, while there is value in making mistakes and learning certain skills “the hard way”, this just adds to the extreme pressure that most of these young people are already under to perform and succeed. Expecting and allowing young leaders to deal with these pressures without the right support is irresponsible of a business, and can have a detrimental effect on the individual involved, impacting on their career going forward.
When it comes to providing the “right support” however, many companies assume mentorship programmes or more formal business courses are all that is required. While these will definitely add value, the challenge with most mentorship programmes is that they do not usually encourage the level of honesty and openness that young leaders actually need. Most young leaders will not admit to struggling with certain issues or be willing to discuss what they perceive to be mistakes they have made. This is because they’re worried this information might be shared with the company’s leadership and limit their chances going forward. Business courses similarly often just equip these leaders with work-related skills as opposed to life skills. To add real value to a young leader – and positively influence their leadership journey – one must equip them with a definite means to succeed. By helping them identify what they want to achieve, looking at what is preventing them moving forward, and mapping out a definite course of action, one can provide them with tools to overcome the challenges of their new role and remain focused on their futures. This makes life coaching an ideal option for young leaders – no matter the company or industry in which they’re working.
Because life coaching is about the individual, and determining what is limiting one’s full potential and why, it encourages critical and objective reflection and analysis. It is also an extremely targeted intervention, requiring merely two to four days to deliver results. Life coaching involves sharing specific tools and skills with an individual. As such, it effectively empowers young leaders with a means to manage new and unfamiliar situations, and deal with these appropriately. It also keeps them focused on their goals and outlines a clear means of achieving these. In this way, it bridges any life experience gaps, while supplementing and supporting mentoring programmes.
Life can quickly combine to overwhelm a young leader. Instead of creating a generation of leaders destined to manage as best as they can, corporate South Africa needs to empower its talented superstars to succeed. By providing young leaders with life coaching – the holistic support they need to achieve their goals – businesses will create a long and lasting legacy of effective leadership, and contribute to far more than their bottom lines.
|